


Numb Normal

by Jayfur08



Series: Family Of Six [6]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anne being not okay, Broken Promises, Depression, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, F/F, French, Heavy Angst, Here we go, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Just for this story, Light drug use, Promises, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Loathing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, There will be comfort in the next one, but to kill yourself so, feeling numb, in the next story, lightly - Freeform, lying, numb, oh boy, very light though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayfur08/pseuds/Jayfur08
Summary: Anne Boleyn needed help. That much would be obvious to anyone who saw a glimpse of her real thoughts.Too bad she was such a good actor.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Everyone, Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: Family Of Six [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065728
Comments: 18
Kudos: 24





	Numb Normal

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Read the tags, please
> 
> If you are suicidal, do not read this. Anne glorifies suicide and self-harm in this and, while the next fic will have the others teaching her this isn't okay, this one doesn't. I don't want anyone to be genuinely upset or negatively affected by this. 
> 
> Don't read it if you aren't ready. It's fine. I'm not offended, there's nothing wrong with avoiding triggering content on the internet or overall
> 
> Also, Anne speaks a good amount of French so... Google Translate, but it’s, for the most part, the same stuff she says in English

Average.

Isn't that what Anne was? Isn't that a way to describe her life?

No, of course, not.

Not every average girl gets... Goes through anything Anne has.

**_Not everyone is as bad as yo-_ **

_No! Stop it!_

She took a deep breath and looked in the mirror. It was dark, the lights were off. She could hardly see herself.

Fuck.

Why was she... Why was she even here?

Just go back to bed, with Catherine, She told herself.

_**You don't deserve her-** _

_Stop it!_

She swallowed and wiped her face.

_Just... Go back to bed._

God, her neck burned. She just... She just wanted to tear into her skin until everything STOPPED.

She tentatively reached for her neck, brushing along the choker and wincing. It wasn't enough, it made her nerves feel like they were catching on fire, but still not warm enough. She wanted to scratch at it more, she just needed it to stop.

**_Then, do it._ **

_No!_

**_Why not?_ **

She pulled the choker off.

_No._

_Stop it._

_Don't scratch, it'll make it worse._

She knew that. She wasn't stupid. She knew that.

So, why was she scratching at it now?

Why wouldn't she just stop?

Because the burning, the itching, the urge was still there. Still. There. StiLL. THE **RE. STILL. TH-**

_Shit!_

She stumbled back, on nothing in particular, and looked at her hand.

Blood. There was blood. She was bleeding.

She walked over and quickly washed the blood off. She slipped the choker on when she was sure she wasn't bleeding anymore and walked to her room.

She quietly got into bed, hoping Catherine wouldn't wake up.

The itching had stopped. The burning was gone.

But... But at what cost? At what cost did that stop? The pain? The pain was still there, lingering, it just... Wasn't burning. It was... Different. Better? No.

She didn't sleep that night.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Hey, Annie!” Kitty ran up to her the next day, ”Wanna come with us to the park?”

“Oh, uh-”

“Come on, Verführerin!” Anna grinned, ”We're all going! If you say no, it's cool, but you should totally say yes.”

“Of course, I'm coming!” Anne forced a nod, ”Why wouldn't I?”  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
God, she was exhausted.

She felt numb the whole day.

She pushed it inside and laughed and smiled with everyone else. She made sure they bought it. She was sure they did.

Other than fucking Catherine.

Yeah, she loved her. Of course, she loved her. But, dammit, she was way too good at reading her.

When they got home, and Anne and Catherine went to Catherine's rooms, Catherine shut the door and turned to her.

“Okay, spill.”

“What?” Anne feigned confusion, but felt panic rise in her, ”Spill what? This was just a normal fun day!”

“You've been weird all day,” Catherine stepped forward, ”You haven't been happy.”

“What are you talking about?” Anne tilted her head, “I've been plenty happy.” She felt the familiar burning, itching on her neck and she was so painfully aware of her lying.

“You haven't given a real laugh all day, Bo!” Catherine gently grabbed her hand, ”I know you. What's wrong?”

Anne looked at her and opened her mouth to say, ‘I don't know, but I think I need help.’

“Nothing, Lina!” was all that came out.

“Bo!” Catherine looked at her, ”Please don't lie to me... Okay?”

Anne pulled away from her and snapped, ”Back off, Catherine. I said I'm fine.”

Catherine looked at her, eyes widening with shock before melting into a quiet sadness.

“Okay... I'll let it go.”

“Th-Thanks.”

Anne turned and walked out, going back to her own room.

_**She's just trying to help, don't be such a bitch to her.** _

“Shut up...” She mumbling, locking her door.

_**You're such a bad girlfriend.** _

“Shut. Up.”

_**I doubt she really wants to be with you.** _

She sat down on her bed and hissed, ”That isn't true.”

_**How?! She tried to help you and you snapped.** _

Anne looked at her hand and felt her vision go blurry, taking a split second to register it was tears. She fought to not tear her choker off.

**_You know it's true._ **

_No._

**_She hates you._ **

_Stop it!_

**_They all do._ **

“No...” She felt her hand go toward her neck, ”No.”

_**Why shouldn't they?** _

“Bec-Because we're family...” She whispered, pushing her hand down, ”W-”

_**Since when did family mean shit?! Remember your Dad?** _

She went quiet and slowly pulled her choker off.

_**They'll turn on you when it's inconvenient. You know it. They know it.** _

“N-No...” She croaked out, placing the choker on her bedside.

_**Oh, really? Why?** _

Anne stayed quiet. There was no reason they shouldn't.

 _ **Exactly.**_  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She stayed away from Catherine for a bit.

She talked to her in groups and they stayed in the same room, but she avoided all and any one-on-ones.

And, for a few days, it worked. Anne was fine. Sure, she dug at her neck every night and fought to not break into sobs every time someone gave her a weird look, but she was fine.

And... And maybe she was eating less now.

But that was fine.

Right?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She was staring at herself in the mirror at 3 AM again.

This had become a routine at this point.

Trying not to break down, breaking down anyway. Scratching at her neck until she bled before snapping out of it and stopping.

It was.. A routine.

A shitty one, but a routine.

This time, her routine was interrupted. By Kat.

At any other time, she would be happy to see Kitty. But, walking out of the bathroom, choker loosely on, face wet with tears, it was pretty fucking bad luck to hear a small, ”Annie...?”

Sh turned, eyes wide, and saw Kat looking at her. It was dark, Kat having only a small light in the kitchen on. But, judging by Kat's face, it was plenty to see what was happening.

“Oh, Annie...” Kat took a step forward, “Wh-What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” Why was her voice so shaky, ”Just a little nightmare.”

“Annie, you've been...” Kat walked over and looked at her, ”Acting off for a while. Are you... Are you okay?”

“I'm... Fine,” Anne took a step back, ”Don't worry about me, okay?”

“Annie, please-”

“I said I'm fine, Kat,” Anne snapped, immediately feeling guilt well inside her as she saw Kitty's face crumple.

Anne whirled around and stormed into her own room, not going back to Catherine.

She shut and locked the door, walking over to her bed.

_**She was just trying to help you. Why do you have to be such a bitch?** _

Anne stifled a sob and sat down on her bed.

**_This is why she'll leave you. You're gonna drive everyone away. It's all your fault._ **

“Stop it...” She whispered, half-heartedly.

 ** _Why do you think everyone leaves? Or hurts you? Because you're a bitch. You deserved it_**.

“No, no...” She felt her breathing quicken and she forced her voice lower.

**_Why not? You're selfish. Annoying. They deserve better. It's why Henry hit you. You deserved it._ **

She shoved her face in the pillow as an attempt to quiet her cries.

**_They'll leave you, eventually. Or they'll hurt you. You know that._ **

Anne didn't have an argument.

 _I... I know that..._  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She stopped talking to Catherine and Kitty after that.

She stopped talking to anyone, actually. She pulled herself away and stayed in her room. She left enough to stop questions, she smiled, she laughed, but she wasn't happy.

She felt...

Normal?

Fine?

Average?

No. She felt- No.

No, she didn't feel. She didn't feel...

She was numb.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Anne?” Anne looked up to see Jane walking into Anne's room with a sandwich.

“Yeah?” Anne tilted her head.

“I, uh, noticed you didn't have breakfast,” Jane set the sandwich on her bed, ”So, I got you this.”

Anne paused, before forcing a smile and grabbing it, ”Aw, thanks Mère! Guess I forgot about breakfast.”

Jane blinked before brightening, ”Oh, okay! You're welcome, Anne!”

She turned to walk out and Anne looked down at the sandwich.

The second the door shut, Anne dumped it into the mini trash-can in her room.

 _Nice thought,_ She hummed, idly, _But I can't take it._  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Hey, Anne,” Cathy walked over, ”We're all going out to eat. You coming or no?”

God, Anne was tired. And hungry.

She opened her mouth to say, ‘No.’

“Sure!”

Cathy nodded, ”Be ready in fifteen.”

Anne nodded and looked around.

She was so hungry. She just wanted to eat.

_**Failure.** _

_Shut up!_  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She barely ate.

She ate enough so that no one would say anything. But it was fine. She could just eat less tomorrow.

She felt... She felt okay, for a bit.

Not necessarily happy, but maybe everything would be okay.

As everyone laughed and talked, she couldn't help but genuinely smile. Everyone else was happy. So, she should be, too.

**_Happy despite you._ **

Goddammit, just one day without the voices. Was that too much to ask?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
They got home around 9:00 PM.

Anne went to Catherine's room, for the first time in a week. Catherine smiled, but didn't mention anything.

They curled up together and Anne ignored the itching, burning on her neck.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She was doing better.

No, she wasn't.

But she was getting better at hiding it.

Not one was asking about her.

Like they did in her last life.

Anne thought about her lives, a lot.

She remembered how many short bursts of sadness and numbness she went through. What were they called again? Ah. Depressive episodes.

Maybe she's always had this.

Maybe she's always been...

**_Broken?_ **

No! Not- Not... Not... Broken...

She looked down at the razor blade in her hand, pressed against her arm, and felt weirdly calm.

 ** _Broken_** , The voice said as the skin broke.

Blood came from the wound, making anxiety deep in her chest. Her mind went back to the execution, Henry, oh, God it hurt, the sword, the _second execution, it hurt, why was he touching her, wh-_

She blinked as the bathroom door opened and looked up in the mirror to see a horrified-looking Kat.

This was a shitty situation, sure, but... But the burning on her neck was gone. She felt... She felt there. Finally. She felt grounded.

 ** _Broken._**  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Annie, wh-what the Hell?!” Kitty glared at her, ”Why would yo- Why would you do this?!”

It had been around ten minutes, Kitty had helped wrap Anne's scratch up.

Anne stated quiet and Kat sighed.

“I... Annie, I love you, but...” Kat swallowed and looked down, ”I have to tell someon-”

“No!” Anne stiffened, ”Kit, listen, I-”

“You cut yourself, Annie!” Kitty whispered, voice scratchy, ”You-You're hurting yourself. I can't... I can't keep letting you do this.”

“I won't!” Anne grabbed her shoulder, ”I promise. I promise, I won't... I won't cut again. Just don't tell anyone, okay? We can... We can keep it a secret.”

“Annie...” Kit gently pulled away, ”I... I can't do this. I can't keep this secret.”

“Please?” Anne tried one more time, eyes filling with tears that threatened to pour out, “For me?”

Kat stayed silent for a second before sighing and looking at her, ”Fi... Fine. Okay. Just... Please, stop.”

Anne grinned, going to hug Kitty before pausing and glancing at her. Kat nodded and hugged her back.

For a few seconds, Anne considered stopping. For her baby cousin.

But the voice reminded her that that was impossible. Ridiculous.

**_What would you do instead? It's not like you deserve to stop._ **

She ignored how inconsistent and contradicting the voice was and just made her empty promise to Kat.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She didn't stop cutting for a few weeks after that. Eventually, she managed to throw the razor blade away and stay quiet.

She thought back on her life.

Wasn't it normal?

To give up on life? To be neutral on death? Wasn't that normal?

She thought it was.

She was in her room, looking at her phone. Wasn't it normal? Sometimes, she thought the only reason she went on was so the others wouldn't be upset.

**_They'll feel better when you're gone._ **

And that. Didn't everyone have the voice?

Maybe. But she was pretty sure not everyone had it to this extent.

Sometimes, she couldn't tell what was her and what was the voice. Was there a difference? No. Yes. Maybe?

But... But it was fine. Cutting. That she could control. She wouldn't do it.

When was the last time she has a real meal? She wasn't sure.

God, when did everything spiral like this?

“Pourquoi suis-je comme ça?” She asked, dully.

She felt... Engourdie.

That's it. That's what she could use.

Engourdie.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She remembered the first time she wanted to die.

She remembered that she was around fourteen.

She remembered the way she stood at the edge of a cliff for hours.

She remembered wanting to step off.

She remembered turning and walking away, not sure why she was doing it.

She remembered the way she hated herself the next morning for even thinking if leaving everyone. If her Dad was here, he would've told her how selfish she was.

She remembered the day she almost ended it all.

She's still not sure how or why she survived.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Catherine of Aragon was dead.

Henry had beat her.

She hurt. So much. Everything.

She wasn't sure where Henry was, but he had left after some time.

Anne pushed herself up stumbled out of the room. It was dark. She was sure no one was up.

She walked through the halls, thinking about... Anything. Everything.

Catherine... God, she was so beautiful. She should've fucking run that night. She should've run. She should've... She should've done something when she had a chance.

Now, she was dead.

And Henry just beat the shit out of her.

There was nothing she could do. The only way to get away from Henry was death.

Death.

Like Catherine.

Maybe that's what she should do.

She sped up a little.

_Just end it._

She sped up more.

She could find some cliff.

Everything hurt, but she pushed herself to go faster.

Throw herself off.

She was almost running now.

Let all the pain stop.

Engourdie.

Anne wanted it to be over.

“Je ne veux plus être en vie...” She mumbled, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark.

“Je veux mourir.”

Anne wanted to die.

At some point, she got onto the roof, to a ledge, and looked down.

It would be so easy.

“Arrêtez tout. Sauter de. Simplement fais-le,” She wanted to.

Why was she still alive?

“Henry me fait mal. Catherine est morte. Pourquoi me reste-t-il à vivre?”

Nothing. There was no reason she shouldn't just throw herself off and let herself die.

But she didn't.

She went back to her room.

She didn't sleep.

She started up at the darkness and thought about much it hurt.

But she didn't end it. She didn't know why.

She just didn't.

She wondered if that was a mistake.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Now, she was sure it was.

Maybe, if she ended it then, no one would be getting hurt now.

Or maybe she would've been brought back here anyway.

She wasn't sure.

But she didn't want to be alive anymore.

She looked down at the note on the desk, what was this, her third try at a note. She started with Catherine. Maybe that was a mistake.

She didn't know what to say.

_‘Hello, Lina._

_If you're reading this, I'm dead. If I'm not dead... This whole situation is gonna be awkward as Hell. But I should be dead. If everything goes to plan, I'll be dead.’_

She sighed and scratched it all out. No, no, no.

~~_‘Hello, Lina._ ~~

~~_If you're reading this, I'm dead. If I'm not dead... This whole situation is gonna be awkward as Hell. But I should be dead. If everything goes to plan, I'll be dead._ ~~

_Hi, Catherine._

_By the time you find this, I'll be gone. So, don't even bother looking. I'm sorry. For everything. Maybe... Maybe I should've done something else. I'm not sure what else I can do now._

_But I don't want to be alive anymore._

_So, there's that.’_

She groaned and crumbled the paper up.

“Hey, Anne!” Anna walked in, ”You- Oh, is that the song?”

“Oh, uh-” Anne lied, ”Yeah.”

“Can I see?” Anna tilted her head.

Anne forced a smile and threw it into the trash, ”Nah, but don't worry.”

“It's all shit, anyway.”  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Kat seemed to think Anne was getting better. She never asked, but she was obviously keeping an eye on Anne.

But in the last few days, she... Well, Anne noticed she was being a lot... A lot nicer now. No, that's not it.

She was less attentive.

**_She's just gotten tired of your shit and gave up._ **

Anne stopped fighting the voice a whole ago.

Who was she to question it?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
It had been months since Anne had truly been happy. Not laugh at a joke, smile at a show, just... Just genuinely be happy.

It was getting harder and harder to keep up the smile.

But she had to.

The others couldn't know.

**_You don't want to hurt them with your petty problems, do you?_ **

She didn't.

So, she sucked it up and forced a grin.

So sing along, it's such a silly song...  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
No one else knew.

Of course, they didn't.

Kat knew that she had cut a single time.

That was it.

The others probably just thought that she had had an off day or two.

Maybe that's all it was.

Maybe she was just having an off month or two. Or four.

But whatever.

The others didn't know, and what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

Anne had given up on the idea of killing herself. She didn't... She didn't want them to be sad.

You don't want to be selfish and hurt other people for yourself.

“Je ne veux pas être égoïste et blesser les autres pour moi-même...” She dully repeated.

Engourdie.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne acted like a ditzy, dumbass crackhead in front of everyone else. 

Especially, the camera.

They hadn't done another song, but they had done more little videos focused on the ladies-in-waiting.

She acted as hyper, stupid, and light-heartedly funny as she possibly could.

She was becoming a pretty good actor.

Good thing she had so much practice.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne had decided to start writing her suicide notes on- No, she didn't like that term. Goodbye notes. Her goodbye notes on her phone.

She decided to try Kat's now.

_‘Hey, Kitty._

_I know you. You'll probably be mad at then try to blame yourself. Just blame me. Okay? Trust me, this is just my fault. My fault and the stupid voice.’_

She looked down and sighed before continuing.

_‘I'm sorry. For killing myself. There was just a lot going on. I'm not so sure when you'll find this, but when you do, please... Don't be too sad._

_Don't worry. I'm a shit cousin, anyway. Or was. Just... Just move on. For me? Oh, and do me a favor and not tell the others about cutting. Maybe Cathy, if you need to, but I don't want them all to know. And please, PLEASE don't ever cut yourself, okay? It's not worth it. I would know’_

Anne put the phone down. Maybe that would work...

She would go back to it later. She tried for... Jane. Mère.

_‘Hi, Jane._

_Or this is more of a goodbye, huh?’_

Anne swallowed and started over.

_‘Jane._

_By the time you find this, I should be dead. Should being the keyword. If I'm not... I don't know. Maybe you should stop reading this if I'm not._

_I'm sorry, if I am dead. I know it's gonna feel like I left you. I did, but don't worry! It'll be better now. You'll realize, eventually, it's better for you guys.’_

There was a knock at the door and she heard Cathy's voice, ”Hey, we're going to the store, wanna come?”

“Who's we?” She asked.

“Jane, Catherine, and I.”

She hummed before shaking her head, ”Nah, I'm fine. Doing my own thing.”

“Cool,” Cathy replied, and there were steps that got quieter and quieter until Anne found herself in a strangely peaceful silence.

She wondered if this was what it was like to die.

She wondered if she could be here soon.

She looked at her phone and continued the note to Jane.

_‘If I'm dead, I hope it's peaceful. Silent. Calm. That's all I really want._

_That's all I've ever wanted.’_  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Did other people feel like this?

Did other people want to be dead?

It had never been like this before. Not since... Hell, not since she got reincarnated. She was doing so much better.

She didn't know how she got like this.

She didn't know if she would ever get out.

It got to the point she wasn't surprised at the voice anymore.

Every, **_You're a slut, you know that?_**

Every, **_Don't be such a bitch._**

Every, **_You're hurting them._**

Every, **_Just shut up for once._**

Every, **_God, please stop annoying them._**

Every, **_They'll be happier when you're gone._**

Sometimes, she wasn't sure if the voice was lying.

Other times, she knew it wasn't.

It was there for a reason, right?  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne was on a tightrope.

She was so close to falling.

So, so close.

She knew she would.

She wanted to jump off.

She shut up and put on an act. Stayed quiet. Smiled. Laughed. Let everyone else think she was doing fine. She was walking along the tightrope, happy, fine.

No one knew how close she was to falling.

And when she fell, she was fucked.

Dead.

Maybe it would be better.

At least, they could do whatever they wanted without ever having to pay attention to the acrobat who's waiting at the top.

And the acrobat could do a circus hop.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The voice wasn't just a voice now.

It was so much louder. There were more now.

It was a lot harder to act fine when there were so many voices screaming at her about everything bad. Telling her all her flaws, telling her contradicting things.

One would tell her to just kill herself.

Another would tell her that was selfish and she was bad for thinking it.

The other called her horrible for thinking any of these.

Her smile was gonna fail soon.

But it was fine. She was fine.

She would force a smile, anyway.

She would figure it out.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She remembered the second empty promise she made.

They were practicing the performance in the living room and Anne just kept fucking up.

The voices weren't helping.

Every slip-up she would just want to scream.

It wasn't until someone commented on it, she snapped.

“Geez, Anne, get it together,” Cathy shot her a look, ”We can't all carry you in this play.”

She was joking. Of course, she was. Anne knew that.

But, God, did it hurt this time.

Anne dropped the script and stormed toward her room, snapping, ”NOPE! Fuck this, continue without me!”

She slammed her door shut, locked it, and sat on her bed. She tried not to sob. She tried to be quiet.

But the voices were so loud.

She couldn't do it.

There was a knock at the door and she suppressed snapping, ‘Fuck off!’ and instead mumbled, ”Go away!”

“Anne, are you okay?” Anna asked from the other side of the door, ”No lies.”

“No lies,” Anne repeated, feeling numb, ”Just... Just overwhelmed. I need a small break.”

“You sure?” Anna checked, ”Promise you're okay?”

Anne thought about telling the truth. But she couldn't. She couldn't bring them down. The voices reminded her that.

So, instead, she lied.

“Fine,” She forced her voice as even as possible, ”I promise.”

“Okay,” Anna seemed to trust her, ”Okay, cool. Come out whenever you're ready.”

Anne hummed and leaned back. She looked up and felt her mouth quiver and her whole body shook as everything hit her.

She lied.

Again.

At least, with Kat, she wanted to stop.

But... But this... But this was blatantly lying. She- She lied.

To one of her best friends.

She-She never... She wasn't a liar.

 ** _What do you call what you've been doing this whole time?_** One of the voices questioned.

Anne felt a sob bubble in her chest and she leaned forward, as if she were going to throw up. She let out a quiet sob. She had gotten good at quiet crying. Tears streamed down her face and she forced herself to breathe evenly in an attempt to stay as quiet as possible.

After ten minutes, she went out, good as new. Cathy apologized, but Anne assured her it was fine.

Not like she didn't deserve it.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne remembered when she almost went through with it. Suicide.

First time in this new life.

A few days after the Anna situation, she cut again.

Around a week after that, she found herself in the kitchen at 2 AM, sobbing. The voices were so loud. She remembered very little.

She grabbed some pills, what were they, Tylenol? She wasn't. She took around five or six before snapping out of it and pushing them away.

She sat on the floor and breathed for a bit before calming herself down enough to go back to Catherine and go back to sleep.

The rest of the night, the voices reminded her how shitty the world was. How shitty she was.

Half of them told her to go finish it.

The other half told her how selfish she was for almost doing it.

She didn't sleep.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
She calmed down over the next few days. She figured out how to manage the voices. She figured out how to hide it better.

She was getting good at it now.

She couldn't help but give a sick, twisted smile as everyone else had a good time.

She was doing okay.

No one else needed to know.

It wouldn't help anyone.

So, she suffered in silence.

Well, not silence. With how loud the voices were, silence wasn't the right word.

She suffered alone.

She let herself suffer.

She put on a mask and stayed quiet. Pretended to be fine. Pretended nothing was wrong.

As far as they knew, Anne Boleyn was fine!

And it would stay that way.

**Author's Note:**

> The next fic will resolve this, I swear
> 
> For now... Anne gets no help


End file.
